I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
