I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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