then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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