god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
