I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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