Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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