It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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