Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
