I'm lost and stupid without you.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
