im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
