I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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