some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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