i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
