Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
