I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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