he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
