Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Randomize
