Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
