What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
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