So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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