Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
