New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Randomize
