Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
