i wish starbucks made bloody marys
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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