Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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