Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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