You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
