Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
