I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Randomize
