here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
