Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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