kristin has been a bad kristin
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
