Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
