Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
