you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You need Xanax blowdarts
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
