i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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