your room smells of hookers.
And success
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
