Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
