i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
we made out on top of his cat.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
