She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
