He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Randomize
