based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
