toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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