Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
pray to the hookup gods
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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