I think i sorta joined a cult last night
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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