Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
