Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Randomize
