Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
