I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
