the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
