i think my mom watched the whole time
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
