I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
